Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
- The Carpenters
first, an apology to melissa aka cui ting. i didnt mean to not go, i didnt mean for it to turn out this way okay. i wanted to go but i had to prioritise, so i guess that wasnt my first priority. but thinking back, maybe i shouldve tried a little harder, plan properly. whats done is done. dont get mad. sorryyy /:
cari, at last we managed to talk. not for long, but at least i managed to clear one portion of what i wanted to tell you. you probably told me half of yours ? yes, we need to keep that day free. i need to talk to you, bad.
why's everything getting so out of control ?
i know im not very happy whats going on.
ive been wrecking my brains, thinking of what i should do to avoid having this problem.
but nothing's coming to me.
i feel it's the best i can do.
i know ive been lying to myself.
trying to find excuses so that i can feel better.
i need to know how to settle this.
im already being me.
if this is not working, it means everyone was wrong
it means ive to change and be someone who im not.
and let me make this clear, i am not going to do that.
im trying to push myself, i think it's already to the limit.
i feel my energy dying off.
im not getting any time for myself at all.
stop giving us homework.
ran/walked in the rain with cho today. i really miss those times when we actually had so much fun together. guess the rain came at a great time. tjoe cho and i were wet. cho and i, drenched. the rain didnt even matter at all. we were laughing and having so much fun. man, those wonderful times. i just love the rain. the rain always creates these great memories. i once ran in the rain with kitty and charmain.
i love the rain.
i read something. it really meant so much to me. i read it over and over again. it was a pushing force and such a reassuring thing. man, i feel safe and protected. now there's no need to worry. i know how you think, so thats one less thing to worry about. phew~
trish, the ideal man's almost impossible to find here. it'll only happen in made-up scenes and in your dreams. why not let that man be your imaginary friend ? :D cheeries.
we need to talk. you you you and i.
let your heart out.
during chinese, we learn all about love.
thanks to foo(:
i cannot sit beside cass during this chapter :D
thank goodness its over.
housekeeping matters throughout the week.
ive handed in my math homework.
dont kill me please.
i just love the excos.
i just love the way andrea screams her head off.
i just love the way cheryl screams back at us. zaiii can !
lets have more venting sessions, they're good for us.
how i miss mrj.
school's rubbish now.
reflections have lost it's meaning.
PC lessons are boring and useless.
i dont know how russell managed to tell us his story without crying.
but you're a role model(:
you gave catechism a whole different meaning.
you got me into the whole catholic faith.
i cannot control my inner emotions when i see you.
it's not my fault at all, i dont feel it is.
it's because you started the whole thing.
it hurts so much more.
it affects me so much more.
why ?
because it was you, my friend.
i dont know when i'll change it back.
i give myself the reason "im too lazy".
but i know it's shhite.
it's cause i dont want to remove it.
it's something that'll help me not forget you.
honestly, i dont think i'll forget you.
but im just clutching it tight
thats probably my way of holding on to the memories.
just hoping that i'll not be forgotten too.
i miss those little pep talks i used to have with cho.
of course cass too.
we used to stay back so often
sitting in the canteen till we can start using our phones(:
i'll never forget the look on jia's face when i whipped out my phone.
no worries dear, it's past six.
i like the way you reassure me that no matter how little we talk,
im still remembered.
but everytime i get happy about it all,
there's always that part that spoils it.
im getting used to it.
but as we get further and further apart,
i think i need more reassurance than that.
i feel i need it more.
right now, excos are busy carrying out an operation(:
NOTENOTE: i love my mummy gazillions :D and i want her to know she'll not be forgotten and that i miss her !
shhh, silently we tear, silently we try to hold on to everything.
let your heart out.
i cant believe you. i cant believe you. ):
let your heart out.
i just made a phone call. by right i should be feeling shhite, crying my eyeballs out. for some reason, i dint. i feel that it's wasted that i missed the chance, but somehow im fine with it. it's probably because i didnt put that as my first priority anymore. during the holidays, it was always put second. so i cant blame anyone for anything. but im really surprised that im not feeling nehneh.
i guess everything's starting to change now. my priorities etc. and i think how i look at things are starting to change too ? man, i dont know whats got into me. probably weizhen's wonderful talk. :D
council has taken a whole lot of my time during the holidays and now cos of the secones. every single day the excos are so worried for the trainees. trainees, if youre not sure please go to the secthrees and ask. i think all the excos have been overworked. one by one everyone's getting sick. andrea felt like vomitting, victoria had stomach ache. in class (just as THL guessed), the flu has been passed to the rest. haha. get well soon people (:
im trying to sort out all the notes. ive to find time to go through all of them.
i just read a very interesting book i borrowed from cheryl. it's so kiddy-like. haha. everything that happened will probably only happen in dreamland or something(: heh. but whatever, it was cute.
yong ni de chi bang fei
let your heart out.
those little babies(: the juniors tried teaching them the school song today. guess after a while they decided to open their mouths.
the first day of school was all about getting the secones to know us, to know the places in the school. the discipline talk etc. loads of things the councillors were in charge of. heh.
the day started with mrs THL. as usual, her sarcastic comments and insults. like what gretl said, we're all immune to them already. heh. i think it's so true. but i just love giving her the ohright. whatever you say look. what does she expect me to do. haha. so i just stare back at her everytime she talks about council.
it was mother tongue after that. we got split up. the different groups according to the different chinese standards. i really cant believe that im in group A. haha. class 4C. but am i glad we got fufu ! haha. i look around the class and i get so pressured. the standards that fufu wants of us, shocking. quite tough for me. i think im put in the wrong class. haha. crystal and i couldnt help but think that way.
the first day of school was a wednesday. there was practice. it just felt weird that i didnt have to bother about the timings. usually i'll have to plan what time to leave the house etc. but suddenly i didnt have to at all. i just felt something was missing. my wednesdays always end with practice. but now, guess i'll just be at home watching projsuperstar.
im sick. friggin sick. i actually survived the whole day in school. thankyou my dear stjohns people. haha. geetu ! yupp(: guess it was probably stress. too many things to do and handle. i cant get off my bed. everything's spinning and my head's throbbing bad.
mumster, i just wanna lie on your lap and be patted to sleep. wahaha :D this is random. ahh. miss youu ! wont be seeing you on sundays anymore ): you still owe me massage. heh.
whats forever for ?
let your heart out.